Have a holly jolly toasting season: giving the gift of love and appreciation this season

Years ago, a German friend insisted that we make eye contact when clinking our glasses together and proclaimed “Cheers!” She explained it is believed bad luck not to sustain a mutual gaze during the act of toasting. 

I’m not a particularly superstitious person, but I am a devotee of anything that heightens time spent with friends. I took her guidance to heart. I have indeed run with it – going out of my way to create opportunities to look into the eyes of anyone I’m enjoying social time with. I’ve been known to toast afternoon cups of tea, morning doughnuts, even a cardboard tray of stadium nachos has warranted a salute and, albeit somewhat lackluster, clinking together. 

When the holidays roll around, you can perhaps imagine just how jazzed I am to toast the season. Words matter. They matter a lot. The holidays provide an opportunity to offer the most important people in our lives our very most heartfelt words.  

We all know cheers, salud, sláinte, prost, skol, kanpai or whatever cultural heritage-specific proclamation you make while raising a glass, is shorthand for all manner of well wishes. We’re putting hopes for good health, good time and good fortune into the universe when we say our preferred toast. The holidays offer an opportunity to expand on the jam-packed meaning of a single word tribute. In fact, a meaningful toast can be a treasured gift and set a tone of celebration at any seasonal function.  Not making a toast at an event can be a real miss to maximizing the spirit of generosity that defines the season.

Be the host with the toast

If you’re hosting a party at your house, raise your glass to let attendees know how much they mean to you. Whether an intimate dinner or a jam-packed bash, expressing your love for your guests sets a tone of gratitude, connection and jubilation. As attendees likely know one another, your toast can express communal hopes and best wishes of all present. 

For a dinner party, I like to give a toast when everyone has been seated at the table but has not yet begun to eat. Keep your toast short, specific and upbeat. Look around the table and make eye contact with each person. Then offer a few words of reflection on what has transpired over the year while welcoming what is to come. You and your loved ones may have endured challenges in the months preceding. Rather than rehash these hard times, a loving acknowledgement that life is better lived together with the folks gathered around the table will honor both the hardship and the truth of our connectedness.   

For larger parties, offer the toast as soon as most guests have arrived. Let everyone know they matter to you with perhaps a witty quote or quick retelling of a shared humorous moment. The toast can provide an opportunity to offer any practical tips, such as where food stations, bathrooms and drinks are located. 

I think it’s nice to invite others to offer a toast as well. If that appeals, I suggest toasts are given throughout the evening rather than all at once. This will allow revelers or diners to get the festivities going and can even result in a building on othe fun as guests take one another’s words into account when they offer their own tribute.

Business casual

At a work function, the toast can be important in setting the tone. Senior members of the team can help attendees transition from formal work vibes to the informal festivities. Toasts to colleagues should be upbeat and celebratory. Express gratitude for the work your team has completed and avoid making a speech about missed goals or bottom lines – this is a time to rest and renew for the new year. A toast should underscore that message. 

Calling out a few groups that have gone above and beyond is appreciated, but be sure to cast a broad net in your kudos. Consider members of the team that may be overlooked but whose efforts are as critical as anyone’s. Perhaps employees who make the lives of others more manageable but do so without much fanfare. 

Making spirits bright

The actual act of toasting is fun. Folks turn to one another, wide smiles on their faces and clink their glasses in happiness. The clinking together of stemware is core to the act of toasting. It was once thought that the clinking sound would ward off evil. It certainly can’t hurt and, at the very least, it demands that guests interact with one another. So be sure not only to raise your glass, but also to turn to those around you and clink away.

The beverage you toast with matters, too. Historically, making a toast using water was thought to bring bad luck to toasters and toastees alike. Sparkling wine or sparking non-alcoholic cider, on the other hand, are ideal because both are drinks associated with merriment, gratitude and celebration. 

(written for Home for the Holidays)