The best flavor of Thanksgiving is personal connection

(written for the Los Altos Town Crier)

Dr. Vivek Murthy, the 21st U.S. Surgeon General, has made combating what he calls an epidemic of loneliness the keystone of his administration. He outlines the health ramifications of the social isolation that afflicts one in two adults and offers solutions in his book “Together.” 

His guidance sort of boils down to simply bearing in mind that we’re meant to walk beside one another through our lives, to paraphrase Ram Dass. 

Perhaps when you saw a Thanksgiving food and wine article opening with a mention of Dr. Murthy, you anticipated nutritional or movement guidelines for the big day. While this is not that, his medical expertise and national prescription to care for one another is particularly applicable to our great American meal and the rituals that surround it. As I see it, Thanksgiving shouldn’t be a single day, but a concept that launches all manner of both pre-and post-holiday social gatherings. With Dr. Murthy’s guidance in mind, we should seek to visit with members of our community who would otherwise be alone. And these opportunities go far beyond that last Thursday in November.  

I learned from my mom, one of the world’s most gracious hostesses, that a dining table – regardless of size or informality – is a deeply healing place. She used her gifts as an exceptional home cook to create community and connection. Whether her immediate family around the nightly kitchen table or a larger holiday gathering, my mom taught me that people feel seen when you linger over a meal, enjoying the pleasures of food together. I think of her most every night when I serve my family dinner – more so for Thanksgiving.

I am one of those Thanksgiving fanatics that starts planning weeks in advance. My beloved friend, Tina, knew of my passionate attention to the holiday and was all in on it with me. Tina had this unmatched capacity to exponentially dial up the delight of any interest of her loved ones. She magically made everything more exciting and joyous. An accomplished home chef herself, we loved “talking turkey.”

One year, she and I hosted the most fun thanksgiving prep-party. We gathered a small group of friends – all of whom would be celebrating with their own families – and made ahead apple pies (recipe follows), gravy and cranberry sauce. We added to the fun with some friendly competition. Games included: 

• Choose the right tool to peel the ginger for the cranberry sauce (hint: it’s a spoon). 
• Who could peel the longest, unbroken apple peel (the winner was more than two feet).
• And a few thanksgiving trivia questions (how many gallons of gravy are consumed, etc.)

Winners chose an item from a bag of seasonal swag such as festive kitchen towels and assorted utensils. Prizes added to the fun, but really it was all about the time together.  

This is just one idea for a pre-turkey day gathering. There are no shortage of other options. Friendsgiving, of course, but why not Floralgiving where you gather with friends to make centerpieces. Or host a turkey coffee talk where everyone brings copies of family recipes to share. Once the holiday is finished, an entirely new set of hosting opportunities arise. 

This year, I’m planning a Freshgiving party for the Sunday after the big meal when everyone is craving fresh vegetables. I’ll make a big cobb salad bar with cubes of cold turkey and tons of garden fixings. And I’ll host Bloody Mary Black Friday. An event also inspired by leftovers, it will provide an opportunity to gather with not-yet-seen friends.  

My family’s Thanksgiving wouldn’t be complete without a shrimp cocktail starter. I make a hefty batch of the spicy, horseradish-laden sauce we spoon over the shrimp, which means I always have leftovers. This year, I’ll invite neighbors newly back in town and those in need of a break from their own kitchens over for Bloody Marys. It will bring friends together while thwarting the shopping frenzy of Black Friday.  We’ll relax with ice cold, sinus-clearing cocktails and rehash our separate holidays. 

When folks ask what they can bring, I’m often inclined to say just yourselves, but in this case, we will take leftover tidbits. Noggin’s of cheeseboards, reheated apps, and quarters of pies will all be welcome. If you find yourself solo this Thanksgiving, reach out to old friends in person or even online. A Zoom charades game is never a bad idea. If you suspect someone in your life might be isolated over the Thanksgiving season, why not see if they can join you for some sort of meal together?

Recipes promoting gathering

My cocktail sauce is a spectacular Bloody Mary base. The recipe is enough for shrimp cocktails on Thanksgiving with loads of leftovers. If you’re only using it to make Bloody Marys, you can halve the ingredients. Do add more spice and heat to taste just before mixing into drinks. 

For non-alcohol drinking guests, this is a tasty mocktail base. Omit the vodka from the pitcher so you can serve some with and without alcohol. Just add vodka to individual cocktails.

Bloody Marys

• 4 small lemons
• 2 small limes
• 2 cups ketchup
• 2 cups Heinz Chili sauce
• 5-6 tablespoons prepared white horseradish
• 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
• 3 teaspoons pureed canned chipotle chile in adobo, more to taste
• 1/4 teaspoon celery salt
• 1-2 cups of prepared cocktail sauce
• 2 cups vodka
• 1 46-48 ounce jug of tomato juice
• Prepared horseradish, celery salt and chipoltle chile puree to taste

Finely zest the lemons with a microplane, then juice them. Juice the lime. Add all ingredients to a medium size bowl and stir well.  Add one and a half to two cups of prepared cocktail sauce to a 10-cup pitcher. Add vodka, top with tomato juice and stir. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to one hour. Stir mixture well just before service. Fill tall glasses with ice and pour over Bloody Mary mix. Garnish with fresh celery, spicy and briny veggies and shrimp if you have. We use leftovers from our Thanksgiving charcuterie board to garnish.   

Apple Pie

• 1 double pie crust
• 4 lb. Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and cut into ¼ inches slices
• 1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1 heaping tablespoon cornstarch
• The juice of  1/2 lemon

To top pie

• 2 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
  
• 1 egg white, beaten with 1 tsp. water
• 2 tsp. granulated sugar

On a large sheet of lightly floured parchment paper, roll out a ball of your favorite pie dough recipe into a 12-inch round about 1/8 inch thick, set aside. Repeat with a second ball of dough, which will be used as the top. I use a small heart shaped cookie cutter to make cutouts in the dough, which I’ll use to create a lattice type topping. Refrigerate the dough while you prepare the filling.

In a large Dutch oven, stir together apples, brown sugar, granulated sugar, cinnamon, salt, nutmeg and cornstarch. Set over medium heat, cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until the apples are just tender but not mushy, about 20 minutes. Uncover and cook until the liquid has thickened and become glossy, 5 to 7 minutes more. Remove from the heat, stir in the lemon juice and let cool to room temperature, about 30 minutes.

Lay the bottom piece of pie shell into a buttered pie plate. Spoon in filling, scatter butter over the apples and cover with lattice pieces or top pie sheet. Heat  oven to 400°F then cook.

Top crust with egg wash and sprinkle with sugar. Bake until the crust is crisp and golden brown, about 1 hour. Peek periodically and cover the edges with foil if they are looking dark. Transfer the pie to a wire rack and let cool for at least 1 1/2 hours.